Why could I not resist ?

Well, we had good conditions of kiting during all weekend.
Should not be a surprise, but the pain came back with a vengeance after a long session on Saturday and a shorter one yesterday.

As you may have guessed, I am looking now more into alternate ways of relieving the pain and having a diagnostic. Right now I am looking in to the Somatic approach.

I am almost done with this one, which is kind of the source reference. The book is very interesting, but the exercises are poorly explained (or hard to understand), which makes the practical section of the book almost useless. Overall, worth the read if you have pain issues.

Anyway, long story short, even I consider myself on Blog holiday, or post-40 recovery, this other blog is really really interesting ...(and that is "Why I could not resist ?", you get the idea.)

For you all computers geeks:

"The most common muscle pain complaint people contact me about is hip pain. Specifically right sided hip pain often accompanied by tightness in the ribs and waist on the same side.  There is invariably accompanying same side shoulder pain, usually on the top of the shoulder and into the neck. To top it off, 100% of those people sit at a computer almost all day. "

http://essentialsomatics.wordpress.com/2012/09/29/computer-work-is-it-causing-your-hip-pain/

She has a DVD specially for super athletes like me (sic)

I am to inches to buy her DVD and give it shot for the next 2-3 weeks.
If i do, i will let you know.

This guys seems to be genuinely happy about it.

http://recoveryourstride.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-somatics-can-help-runners.html

If he can run, I should be able to kite , right ?

Interlude

Quick post. Could not resist.
40 years old.
yeah, i know.

Anyway, mother nature gave me a birthday gift today. An quick glance of what is waiting for me. Double overhead surf, clean , beautiful at Lanes today.
Incredible.
Half a dozen guy out, 2-3 paddlers.
Magnificent.

According to my new surf-buddy John :"There is a lot of water though.". He is born in California and surfed all his life. I think he has been modest because of me, knowing my session would be short, or very very long.
In any case, not a good one ;)
Then, we "chicken-jib" and went to Paia Bay, where it was way more accessible.
Very fun session until sunset and a little after.

Do Shark hunt at sunset ?
Yes, sir,
but they like it during the day as well.
This was last week, when the close the beach just when i arrived to go kiting.
Scary, right ?

http://ikitehi.blogspot.com/2012/10/shark-attacks-turtle-at-kite-beach.html

Anyway, I want kiting a couple of miles north, this day. But i was paying attention to not fall in the water ;)


Hawaii land of the welcome. For everybody. Bums, Tourists, yogi, Surfers, and sharks - all kind.
Aloha.

Why did i start this blog ? Part 2.

Hookipa. Home spot.

I do have a dream. I do have several, in fact. Maybe I should write another blog just about them.

I do not lose them off my sight. But I am trying to live in the present , where I am .

Right now, I am in Maui, Hawaii. It is slow paced, isolated, boring kind of. Except if you like the water.

Lucky me, I like it. A lot.

Now I do have a goal, which is a step forward those dreams.

This goal is a conscious decision of several sacrifices I have to make to go toward them.

Pete Cabrinha knows to kite and surf.

Ok. Stop with the pseudo poetic jazz.
Back to bullet points:

I want:

- To kite better
- To surf  bigger
- To sail further

I need

- A Fix for my hip flexors
- More paddle power , More stamina, More water time
- Find a way to prepare our boat and to practice on it

Then, I built a plan, centered around 3 ideas. Nothing new. What is new is the awareness of those obvious ideas and the will to realize and sustain them. I am still unsure of the real factor that bring facts to consciousness, or not. We are overwhelmed by ideas, desires, frustrations, but sometime, a deep breach opens and you begin to act and really mean it. And you do believe so strong in those ideas, that you can share them and defend them. I think the capability to share is a fundamental step in the real commitment to a cause or a goal. Still, the original trigger is usually the primal fear, but again, we live with this fear all the time... Why sometime we touch the bottom and rebound, and other time we just go through the bottom deeper and deeper. I do believe if you manage to trigger this evidence, you are in reach of your dreams.

This guy dream is to move this rock from Hawaii to the California. Good luck.

Now, it is time to take a small break from this blog for a couple of weeks. I have a couple of books to read, some friends who are coming to visit. No worries, next post will be about those 3 ideas, and the path for redemption.

Why did I wait for it ?

.. to become unbearable.
Quick summary of the psoas tendinitis or tenderness symptoms:

"Pain will generally be experienced for a short period of time during vigorous activities like jogging or kicking a ball with your instep, as well as more passive activities such as getting up from a seated position, extending your leg while driving, walking up stairs, lifting something heavy or bringing your knee up to your chest (especially against resistance). You will often find it difficult to lie down comfortably without support. Occasionally pain diminishes while in use, but it returns with a vengeance when you stop your activity. Average time from initial onset of symptoms to diagnosis ranges generally between 32 and 41 months."

Not related. Just made me laugh. Karate Kid on  a surfboard. Sorry.

Key point:  "diagnosis ranges generally between 32 and 41 months."

What? 3 or 4 years ?

I guess I got tricked, but I waited around 5 years myself.

As they say, it goes and goes away. Someday you can walk, someday you cannot.

Sometimes you can run, sometimes you cannot. You get used to the pain. The pain disappear when you are warm, usually. You change shoes. Use other muscles. Stop exercising (because it is boring). And rest (without thinking about it). Then it goes away for longer.

But eventually, it will come back. Because you are still sitting in front of this f** computer, eight hours a day (if you are lucky, usually it is waaaayyy more).

Now you know the symptoms. Do not forget if you have back pain, as it is related. Go to the doctor or physical therapist. Just for a check-up. In doubt, do Yoga or stretch:  You cannot really hurt yourself doing this. You can only hurt your feelings by seeing yourself not being able to last 2 minutes on the plank. (one minute and 15s , exactly). Or not being able to do 50 abs (20, to be precise). Or not looking like them.

Ridiculous , isn't it ?

Make you a favor. Listen to your body.
Not to your Ipod. Or both.

Back to the core: What about balance ?

Sitting is bad, Standing is bad, clearly the body is not made to hold the same posture for long hours.

What, I cannot sit ?

Body Adaptation:

When locked in the same posture, the muscles becomes stiff, shortened, always contracted. All muscles works in pair. When one side is pulling, the other side is loose. If one muscle get stiffer, the other one get weaker, always stretched out. Eventually, getting in and out of the posture will become increasingly difficult.

What is holding will be holding harder and harder, and what is trying to pull out, weaker and weaker.

What , I cannot stand ?

Body compensation:

Except if you plan to sit all your life, you may have to go out of your chair someday. At that point the shortened muscle will stay shortened, and your body will have to compensate.

Typical example: Pain in the right leg. You move your weight on the left side to diminish the pain by relieving the pressure. Moving your weight on the other side, you contract the left side muscles in your back. They eventually becomes stiffer. Now, when you try to re-balance your body weight to the center, they pull you on the left side. As you may still want your head to be horizontal, you end up to bend your neck to the right. Now you have neck pain.

Who to believe ? Your right leg that is hurting, your left part in the back that is hurting, or your neck, that is hurting too  ? What is the source ? When did it start ? Was it the chicken or the egg ?

This example is based on a real story, extracted from the book of Thomas Hanna, but my wife confirmed she sees it all the time in physical therapy.

Somatics: Reawakening The Mind's Control Of Movement, Flexibility, And Health

Have a look to the comments on the Amazon page. Looks it is working.

Side note:
Do not be worry if you dont believe in those "holistic" approach, I was very critic too ( Yoga, Qi Gong, Somatics, Pilates even if they seem very different, they  have a lot of common as well. In the big picture, it kind of make sense eventually, Once you scrap the mystical "flavor" layer).
On the other, if wellness was easy and accessible, that will be a big issue for this society. Think about it. Think about the industry that do not want you to prevent sickness or injury. Certainly Coca Cola would lost a couple of points on the market. As well as Bayer. 

Cannot sit, cannot stand, barely can walk....

Jeeezzzz ! I CAN RUN !!!!!

If we are not born to be sitting, may we are born to run ?

Ok, maybe running 100 miles is not for everybody. And even with an iPad, it is unlikely that you can work while running. And they suffer too. A lot ...
(On a side note, i was not able to run anymore until i read this book and change my shoes. No kidding. I may post on this later, this is a life changing experience.)


Is it really bad  if i do not want to be a triathlete or an ultra-runner, why bother ?

Maybe not, but could I balance ?

How do you balance your body ? By strengthening your core. (In fact, Yoga just do that, coincidentally).


Paul Goodman, in his article "Connecting the Core" in the November 2004 issue of the NSCA's "Performance Training Journal," identifies the lumbo-pelvic-hip area as a complex conglomeration of 29 muscles that attach to the core. 

This musculature, Goodman says, is responsible for stabilizing, transferring, reducing and producing force when your feet are in contact with a solid surface.

What does that mean ? Those muscles are the foundation of your body. And paradoxically, underestimated. By example, what does it mean for the runner ? (just in case you still want to run!)

Speed : As you extend your stride or quicken the rate of your leg and foot turnover when you're trying to pick up your pace, the lower abs-including the transversus and rectus abdominis-and lower back are called into action. The stronger and more stable these muscles are, the more force andspeed you can generate as you push off the ground.

Uphills :The glutes and lower abs support the pelvis, which connects to the leg muscles needed to get uphill. If the core is strong, the legs will have a stable plane to push from, for a more powerful ascent. When you swing your leg forward, the hip-flexor muscles, such as the rectus femoris, pull on the pelvis. As you push off the ground, the glutes and hamstrings are engaged.

Downhills :When you're flying down a slope, you need strong gluteal muscles to help absorb the impact and counter the momentum of the forward motion. As fun as it may be to zoom down, without the core strength to control your movement, your quads and knee joints bear the extra pounding of your body weight, which can lead to fatigue, pain, and even injury.

Endurance : As you're nearing the end of a race, a solid core helps you maintain proper form and run efficiently, even through fatigue. With strong lower abs and lower-back muscles, such as the erector spinae, it's easier to stay upright. If your core is weak, you may end up shuffling, slouching, and putting too much stress on your hips, knees, and shins.

Lateral Movement :Whenever you have to suddenly move to the side-to turn the corner on a track, dodge a pothole, or navigate undulating terrain-the obliques provide stability and help keep you upright. If your core is weak, then you may end up leaning into the movement, which can put excess weight and strain on the joints in your legs and feet.

"Your core is like a power plant".

[ http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-238-263--13030-1-1X2X3X4-5,00.html ]

Well, hopefully, an energy alternative power plant. Based on sun, wind and food. Don't think you can digest oil, can you ?

...

Finally, as an exercise,  think about it: Why is it a very bad idea, after reading this blog, to put your shoes on and go for a long run when you did not workout since ages ? 

Do you think that running is improving your core or poaching in it ?

(And, in this case if you really want to burn some carbs right away, go swimming instead).

Do you have 'sitting disease'?

Look at that.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sitting-disease/MY02177/rss=1

Sorry, but in my opinion, this is b***t.

There is an obvious correlation between people who are sitting in front of the TV 3 hours a day and junk food consumption. Specially, when you look at nutrition nowadays.(More on this subject later).

Anyway, in our case, there is some truth. Too much sitting is bad for the spine, we went over this yesterday.

Mostly because of one of the biggest strength of our body, adaptation. Funny, isn't it ?

I guess, like me, you still need to work on a computer, or stuck to a desk. Like a big part of the US population. Or standing up all the time. like another big part of the population. In any case, you are facing a big issue. Neither standing or sitting is good. (sleeping or laying down is, by the way).

I tried working standing up, when the pain was unbearable.

I built my own standing desk.(yes, i am that cheap).

Result: After a couple of weeks, i still had some back pain, little different, but still. and other part were aching as well. Knees, Leg.

Then, what is good ?

What is good is switching stance. And stretching.

If you have a standing desk, make sure it is adjustable, and easy to do so.

And move it every half hour. Sit. Stand. Sit. Stand. People will laugh at you. Just Sit. And Stand again.

And after adjusting it, everytime, go for a tour. And a couple of standing stretches.

Basically, relax your hips, abs and all those contracted muscles. It is true for the upper body too. 

Ironies. Is if you are a smoker and go for one every half hour, just the fact of standing, walking, and moving will greatly reduce the tension on those muscles and help prevent back pain. (it may help your career as well, if your boss is a smoker).Eventually, you may die from something else, but with a strong back.

Did i say smoking is good for you ?

If you do not have 800$ to spend on a standing desk, or are not working at Google, Facebook or Apple, there are cheaper options:

Easy to switch between kneeling and sitting. you cannot really stand, but you can work by kneeling on the floor ;)

Now, OK, you got it. you have to switch between sitting and standing up, as often as you can.

NOT THAT FAST. Trick is, if your psoas is already f** up, super tight, it will stay like that, even when you are standing up. Yes, this explain the tilt of the hips. Basically, this helps only if you are already in good shape.

Quick test.

Stand back against a wall. Stand as straight as you can. Heel touching the wall, Shoulders as well.  Pass a hand in your back arch. What is the space between your back and the wall ? should be around the size of your finger, or your hand flat. Same space that if you are lying down. Me ? Twice this size. Always the same. Even standing, psoas is tight, pelvis is titled, etc.. You got the picture.

http://www.creatingwellnesschiro.com/uploads/Posture_self_test.pdf

Here they say between 1 and 2 inches. 2 inches seems a lot to me.

Then we are back to the same point than yesterday. If you are not hurt, switching stance and stretching every half hour are great tool to trick the body's adaptation mechanism, and release tension in the contracted muscles.

If you are already hurt, unfortunately,

you have to go back on basics. Work on your core, and stretch seriously those muscles.

By the way, you can work your core while sitting, but this is really ridiculous.

What about me ?

I do not care about ridicule. Just bought one. Today. No kidding. I will let you know if that works for me.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/23113-exercise-ball-chair-exercises/

Comments are welcome. if you tried something you want to share, do not hesitate.

When did it really start ?

All this mumbo-jumbo about giving a sense of your life is fine, but, between you and me, we know that all comes from a trigger, usually, from a fundamental fear. Why did I really decide to change my way of living ?

Easy.

One week after moving-in in Maui, I could barely walk. Surfing, or Kitesurfing was way out of my league.

What is your most primal fear ?

Mine is to be living in paradise of surfing and kitesurfing and watching the action days after days from the beach, limping and groaning. Any addicted will confirm. More than privation, the constant exposure is the hardest part. While you are trying to stop smoking, dont go to bars or clubs. Make sense, no ?.

Little like this. With a walking stick.

As you can see, I was not in too bad shape, when we arrived. At least, I thought. I even have a cool San-O T-Shirt to prove that I did paddle-surfing and surfing almost 3-4 times a week during one year when living in Orange County.

Then, why could I not walk anymore after 5 days of kiting in paradise ?

Few complicated words.

Iliopsoas Tendinitis or in plain English: Snapping Hip Syndrome

In a few simpler words,

If you are a Desk Jockey, do not pretend to be Kelly Slater.

Or to be able to surf a door. Well, he can. (what cant he do ?)

Cause of it all ?

Sitting all day on the computer.

http://www.floota.com/desk_jockey.html

Prolonged sitting, especially when combined with a forward head posture–such as we often find in our computer-centric society–shortens the iliopsoas muscles. Even sleeping or driving, if the posture places the iliopsoas in a shortened state for too long, can compromise its resting length.

Back Pain ? related.

This one is the b**ch. Connecting the lower back to your pelvis front, it is the source of back pain, hip flexor pain, and through IT Band, knee pain.

Look for Psoas - Back Pain on Google. You will know what I mean. It is surprising how many people are suffering - and they do not even surf !

How do that works. Sitting all day, without streching, shorten the psoas. It moves your bottom pelvis backward, which bulge your stomach , move your butt backward, compress your spine and its vertebraes.

Back pain.

Now try to run after sitting all day. Pull like a crazy on it. Well, inflammation, bursitis, tendinitis.

Didnt they say the psoas is not a Hip Flexor?  Then why do I use it when I run (or pull my leg upward toward my chest). Here is the trick. Weak core muscles. Weak abs.

No core, and your psoas and hip flexors do all the work. It is call body adaptation. And it is a double edged sword. Your body will use/ over use your stronger muscles, and the signal that you are pushing too far, or your posture is bad, will come way way too late. You can read that the typical diagnostic for a Psoas tendinitis takes usually several years, in average (36 month). I lived with it since 7 years. Issue is the symptoms are difficult to isolate, that rest makes the pain go away and usually, when you are warm, you dont feel it. You pay the price AFTER the work-out.

Back to the core muscles... 

I have been kiting for 5 years and surfing for 4. I thought I had muscles. I did have some. 

Just the wrong ones. 

First time I tried the plank ? One minute.

Minimum to be considered in shape ? 2 minutes.

Common. Do not believe me ?

Try it.

Core Stability

You'll also want to test your basic core stability.

TEST #1

PERFORM A PLANK: Get into a pushup position, then rest your forearms on the floor. Your body should form a straight line from your head to your feet (don't let your hips sag). Hold the position as long as you can. You pass if you can hold it for two minutes or longer.

 


You fail if you collapse before the two-minute mark, or if your hips dip at any point within that time frame.

TEST #2

PERFORM A SIDE PLANK: Turn onto your side and, keeping your body in a straight line (just as in the plank described above), rest your weight on your forearm. Hold the position as long as you can, then repeat on the other side.

 

You pass if you can hold the position for 90 seconds or longer.

You fail if you collapse before the time is up, or if your hips dip at any point within that time frame.

Fortunately, if you fail at either of those tests you can remedy the problem with the same exercises you used in the tests.

For the next 3-4 weeks, perform both tests 3 times per week, doing 2-3 sets of 30-second holds for each, and working up from there. http://www.higher-faster-sports.com/noglutes.html

Tomorrow: Importance of the core. Part 2.

Why will that be Hard ?

Twice the fun, twice the size, 2 years.
Right.Sounds good.
Today, Just a quick overview of it means. We will come back later on the specifics ;)

First, Kiting. Looks pretty easy, isn't it ?(No, it isn't).

Put this in context. this is what I call "Having fun in double overhead waves in strapless kiting".

In surfing that means..

http://www.surfline.com/surfing-a-to-z/overhead-waves-definition_69448/

Hum right, this is only Overhead.
Let pretends it is double overhead (this one is a tall guy - i am only 5'8'').
Anyway, it is pretty big.

At my home spot, it looks more like this.Lots of white water to paddle through. And to dunk under.

Told you. Lots of water.

Paddling out is hard enough. The Bigger the wave, the Faster you have to paddle to catch it, or the Later you have to drop In, the Stepper is the face, the Deeper is the hold down.

Hell, lots of ERRRRRR.

Anyway, you got the point.

I want to go to the next step. Size does NOT matter. (In this context). Franckly, being comfortable in Overhead+ will be enough at this point. The goal is to be able to paddle out 90% of the time, and not get stuck on the beach when it becomes serious.

the past part of the goal, oh yes, I almost forgot, preparing the boat.

As you can see, she is very comfy. On the ground, 2000 miles away. The "To Do" list is longer than i could write in this blog. Maybe if i was writing a book ... And after this, well, there is sea trials, etc.. We will come back on this subject, it deserves a full series. The good news is now we have some money saved. ready to be wasted in refitting her ;). Still, I do not have that much money that I don't care to save some and to do most of the work myself. Like the bottom paint. Again, this list is infinite. Do not get me started.

As you can see, it is not a given.

Oh yes, on top of this, you can add Sharks ... It happens this morning.

Shark Attack Closes Kanaha Beach Park
This morning at around 7:30 off of Kite beach at Kanaha Beach Park the Department of Land and Natural Resources (DLNR) confirmed that a shark attacked a stand-up paddler. The paddler was able to strike the shark with his paddle after he fell into the water when the shark bit his paddle board. The paddler was not injured.

(http://www.co.maui.hi.us/CivicAlerts.aspx?aid=3732)

In case you are wondering, yes, this is the beach I usually go kiting.

And the fact that one month ago, i could not walk more than 5 minutes. But this is for tomorrow.
Do not dream about sharks, they told you, the paddler was not injured. Myself ? Today I went to the pool, not the ocean. Remember the odds ...

Why you wont tell us ?

Alright,

It was supposed to be public, remember. For accountability.

But remember, what matters is the paddle out.

TADA!

It is all about the number 2.

Double overhead, it is twice overhead (Yeah!). Two times 6 feet.

Two hours.

Two years.

I want to be able to paddle out in 12 feet waves, have fun, ride some, and be able to have fun for two hours.

I want to be able to ride with my kites, during two hours and take as many waves that i can, and shred double overhead sets.

I want to be able to sail our boat for two weeks along the California coast.

I want to be able to do sailing legs for at least 2 days offshore by myself.

I want to do the Baja Ha Ha, twice the Ha, twice the fun.

I want to be able to do that in the next two years.

Now, in the next post, I will explain why it will not be that easy ;)
Just in case, you thought it would be.
And we will start to talk about the details ... You know... Training, Nutrition, Sailing ...
Because it is all about the details .. You know... Walking the path.
And if you were thinking (like me, in fact) that this is quite a lot, well, just imagine what is the end of the road ... what is my dream ?
By the way, what is yours ?

What about a dream ?

Let summarize. I have goal. It has to be public. (yes, it is coming ..patience .. patience .. you sound like my daughter). For accountability. I need this goal to get back in control of my life ? path ? journey ?

Well, back in the day, I had a dream (yes, not this one). A cool one. seemed very hard to accomplish 20 years ago.
"Leave France, Moving to US and go working in the silicon valley. Make video games. Be rich."

Just did it.  (except the rich part, of course). What is after the dream ?

You can realize yours dreams. I just proved it.


Another one ? somebody else to convince you ?
read this:

http://www.sailfeed.com/sailings-seriously-simple-stupid

Cruising the world on a sailboat. As it is said. it is simply stupid (to do).

The fear of death?
"I hate that the whole of the sailing industry seems to revolve around placing fear in people. Or if not placing the fear, at least assuaging a fear that the industry knows full well is overblown to begin with. Sure the ocean can be a dangerous place. Yes, we get it. Nobody is disputing that fact. But more dangerous than what? Driving to work? One in five thousand die driving. The ocean may be scarier at times, but certainly not more dangerous. More dangerous than being killed by poisoning? One in eighty-six thousand of us will go that way. Who amongst us honestly believes we are more likely to meet our maker whilst cruising the Bahamas? Come on. And even if it were more likely, which would you rather?"

Just have to train.
Half a dozen years ago, seems like eternity, I was learning to Surf, and so excited about it, was sharing it and maybe overwhelming all my coworkers around me.
One friend told me, "my dream is to get into the tube". I know it was just a way of saying, it was certainly not his ultimate "dream".
Anyway, it stuck to me. How easy it would be to realize his dream. Just have to paddle out. And again. again. And again. Eventually, you will make it. Yes, Dude.

http://www.facebook.com/OceanBeachSurf

Nowadays, i realized how hard it is to get in the tube - lol -.At the time, I told me, well, give it a couple of years, does not look so difficult. I surfed there. OB. Several years. 
Those days, I never made it to the outside. Not that easy. Really. Trust me.

Running on empty.
Most of our dreams are in fact pretty accessible. Those which are not (I want to be rich !) are certainly bad ideas anyway. The issue is how much are you ready to sacrifice, how much do you really want it, and how many of those do you really have to realize ;)


This is where this goal idea comes from. A small step in the right direction. I have a new dream. Took me 5 years to realize I needed a new one. I was running on one empty tank. I guess not everybody needs a dream to get driven forward. Not me. I need a focus. Right now, this one seems pretty far. Maybe unreachable. Maybe not. Maybe I will share it someday. Maybe not. I just hope that if I manage to realize this one (the dream) I will be old enough to not need a new one. It is exhausting ;)

This goal is part of this dream. And this goal is achievable. Certainly. With some help (which I have) and some patience (which I lack).

Why do i need a goal after all ?

Let s keep the suspense until tomorrow for "what is his freak** goal?".

In fact, the goal has no importance, right ?, riding the path is what makes the difference...

Surfer's perspective: Only the paddle out matters, taking a wave is optional.

Specially when it is big, not like here - here it is humongous:

Jaw, couple of days ago, couple of miles away from our home.

Looks at this guy, Robby N. 50 years old. Dropping into Jaw and taking a beating. He was not even a SUP paddler in his younger years (Windsurfer, really, you did not it ?). They reinvented SUP 10 years ago.

If I meet him on the beach someday, I will ask him what was his goal.

3nd experiment: Would I be able to go ask Robby Naish a silly question because i made this point publicly on my Blog ? myself, the shyest guy on the beach ? 

Ok, you will have guessed it, the fact that i am turning 40 in a dozen of days is certainly kind of related to all this jazz. What do you think ?

I do feel great, better than ever (and this is true).

Forty years old is a great age.

Denial, Denial ,...

Going back to my theory of the day and central point of this post:
Why do I need a goal ? Is not life already complicated enough ?
Simple question, simple answer : To regain control of my life.

Fears drive me (and most of us, i do believe). Various fears. Fear of death, mostly. I stopped smoking when I thought I will be dying (I mean, really thought I will, coughing, grasping for air). People stops drinking when they touch the bottom and realize it maybe too late.Fear of losing everything, including their life.

Great film. Sounds like a familiar story.

I have more personal examples, but I will keep them for the virtual couch of my virtual analyst, my surfboard.

Cardiovascular diseases are the number one cause if mortality in every industrial country. Everybody knows it. Or should. How many people change their nutrition before their first heart attack ? How many after ? (hopefully, this is high enough to give me reason - lol).

Addictions drive me.

On the other hands, some others things changed my life on an insidious way, for ever. Subtle or not so, subtle addictions, habits. No fear involved, no conscious decision involved. No real choice, in a matter of fact. A continuity.

Mostly negative things.

- The first beer

- The first smoke

- The first joint (funny this one is universal, same word in French and English)

And some positive things.

 - The first girl (no pictures sorry , it was a while ago)

 - The Big Air WindJam 2007 

http://joshanon.com/windjamDay1/

You got the point. List is almost infinite, between those two.

Fear makes us change radically, other changes occur gradually, not consciously, mostly from addictions,  or habits, good or bad ones. Obviously, there is not real decision there.

Either way, I did not have a choice.

I am almost 40 years old. Time is to make some decisions on my own. Like a grownup, they say.

As I said earlier, time to have a goal. a public one ;)

It is time to make a choice. Time to have a goal.

(thought we will never got there, right ?) 

Why a Blog ?

And why in English ?

First, my daughter can review my spelling.(period).

Well, I guess I got corrupted. Cannot think in French anymore. And who knows, maybe it may inspire someone I do not know yet.

Anyway, anyone who knows me would be surprised seeing me trying to write a Blog.

Not that I do not like this form of communication or social exposure.

Maybe at the beginning, I had some preconceived ideas about blogs and bloggers, and the vanity of talking about themselves. Ego, Ego ... There is already half a dozen of 'I' in this post, and there will be more. **sic**.

Now, I am following actively a good dozen of those, and found some people life or comments interesting enough to go beyond this idea.

But really, what was stopping me was the lack of something to say. No surprise there, I have high expectations, then, now, you can bet, that if I start a Blog now, I have something to say that is pretty interesting.

Hookipa - First swell of the season. Triple Overhead. 

No, This not me paddling.

Indeed. LoL.

But beyond this, I need the public place to help me on my way.

I got the idea from someone-else blog (what a surprise)

http://www.suzietrainsmaui.com/blog/2012/10/my-own-personal-fitness-challenge100-squats-everyday-for-october-2012/

Accountability to reach a goal. Going public forces to stick to it. For the proud and fierce.

In practice, we will see if that helps or not : first experiment.

Real experiment is not new, I spend one month thinking about defining this goal and practicing. But I had an escape route. I did not go public. My wife knew, of course, and supporting, and my daughter was joking about it, but I could back off at any time.

You know you can not help someone that do not really wants to get better.(more on this later, this is one of my favorite topic ;)

I took one month to think about if i really want to go better. And now,  can say it to the world -or at least to my world.

I do. I have a goal.

Do not worry, the first dozen of post may be bigger than usual, because I already spend one month chewing over it. I am pretty sure than after that this blog will slowdown, or stop, like most of them.

But at least, the goal will be public. 

Tomorrow ;)